Don’t touch my hair. 

Have you listened to Solange’s “Don’t touch my hair”. The whole album “A Seat at the table” is a masterpiece. It’s everything I didn’t realize I needed. It’s made me really think about a lot that of things I ignore often. “Don’t touch my hair.”is a song that hits home hard. People touch my hair without asking constantly. I’m a fairly touchy person too so I don’t often get Mad about it and I change my hair frequently so I understand that it’s a fantastic mystery to some people and I know you’re fascinated, but honestly please do not touch my hair. I recently had an important visit at work. Corporate. The regional manager. When I met her she looked me up and down and made me feel instantly judged on all aspects. Strong old white business woman meets confident but innocent young black women trying to work her way up. Oh nooo. If I was creative enough I’d write a screenplay about it. During this visit it was mentioned in passing how cool and interesting my hair is. I paused on my journey to the washroom at a distance that touching me was an awkward reach and this woman whipped her wrist towards me and grabbed one of my braids I swear time froze as I flinched at this woman having the nerve to grab my hair like it’s some kind of pet. I immediately thought of the Rihanna/ Sarah Paulson meme where Rihanna’s fingers are spread and hands are clenched like she trying not to slap this bitch while Sarah fondles her locs.

I explained calmly, but ever so slightly condescendingly that I put extensions in my hair so it’s always different and it’s not real. Then turned quickly while her grip was loose, but not to look like I was trying to get away even though I was clearly uncomfortable. I sat down and started contemplating life as one does on the toilet. Why do people think that’s appropriate in any setting? I just met this woman and she asked me “What’s going on here?” about the hair on my head like it’s some kind of side show. I didn’t walk up to her grab her straw like frizzy ass hair and ask “What happened here?” No I did not she would have been offended and I certainly was. Especially because I feel like I got the stank eye when we were first introduced. Fake interest is easier to spot and more annoying than a general curiosity. I get it she’s the boss, but there’s no need to step on us while we’re already down. All of these micro-aggressions turning into full on aggressions. Please keep your hands to yourself.

“Don’t touch my pride they say the glory is all mine. Don’t test my mouth they say the truth is my sound.”

Thank you Solange for expressing my feelings and the feelings of so many women out there that have there hair unwantedly fondled. My hair is my pride and glory and it is all mine.

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