This ones is a quick one. I wrote this post two years ago with all the intention in the world to post it, but you know life happens and I’m a timid bean so it’s been sitting in my drafts collecting dust. I hope it gives you a little bit of a chuckle now that I’ve decided to share it. Thanks for checking it out.
As you might have known I used to work in sex toy retail. Anyone who’s worked in retail knows people will come in and say the weirdest, and dumbest shit acting like it’s completely normal. The customer is always right, right?
Working in a retail sex shop is free game for even weirder shit. I’ve had my fair share of extremely awkward interactions. People are always eager to share way too much information, they barely even look at me or they had to get drunk or high to work up the courage to set foot in the store. Rarely was there an in between. Obviously I am not trying to judge them I was happy to help with what I could, but there are just some people that just negate all logic when in comes to sex things and I swear to you I can not make this up.
Here’s a quick tour of the store I used to work in. I wasn’t supposed to use my phone, so no wonder I got fired. *Warning: quick movement in the video.*
My co-workers and I wrote down the most interesting stories to entertain each other on boring days. So here’s a list of my favourite things that happened or were overheard in the store:
1.Quiet and Angry:
Whenever anyone walks into the store they’re greeted with a hello and acknowledgement of their existence as a courtesy and practice of good customer service. Every Saturday for a few months this person would walk in and not look at anyone. Not acknowledge hellos or attempts to help him find anything. He would circle the perimeter of the store touch a few things and leave with a grumpy look on his face not talking to anyone. One day the manager asked if there was anything she could help him with, but he didn’t respond. She thought he might have not heard her so she asked again with no response again. So she asked a third time and he turned and screamed in her face ” I’M JUST LOOKING” three times before he stormed out of the store. He didn’t come back for a while after that and when he did we just left him alone.
Two older women were browsing the We-Vibe section and one picked up the We-Vibe Sync and said to her friend. ” This is a marriage saver I know so many couple that were about to get a divorce and are still together because they bought this toy. “
A group of friends were exploring the store looking at all the demo’s and one of them said their boyfriend bought them a vibrator. Her friends immediate response was ” Oohhhh how kinky!” and I’m still not sure if she was serious or not.
4.I’m not enough for you:
A couple came into the store looking for a new vibrator. I sold them the We-Vibe Tango as I was putting it in a bag and telling them to have a good day the guy looked as his girlfriend and said ” I’m not enough for you am I.” I stood there shocked. I said “Dude, it’s just a toy. I think of it as a fun tool.” He looked me dead in the eyes and said ” I have erectile dysfunction. I can’t please her.” I replied “Well now you have something to help.” and handed him the bag with the new toy and walked away to help another customer.
There is a whole list of so many more moments, but these are the ones that I still remember to this day. If I still worked in toy retail I’d have a whole book full I swear, but honestly I’m happy to not work in that environment anymore. Now I do my best to volunteer and focus on educating which is what I loved most about that job. There are so many opportunities to learn about yourself and what you enjoy when you open yourself up to using toys with yourself and with partners and I think walking into a sex store and talking to the people that work there can be a great start.